If You Like a Guy, Do This, or That, or That Too


by Q.K.

IF YOU LIKE A GUY, DON’T CALL HIM FIRST. LET HIM CALL YOU FIRST OTHERWISE HE’LL THINK YOU’RE CLINGY.

OR
CALL HIM FIRST SO THAT HE KNOWS YOU EXPECT HIM TO CALL YOU, UNLESS HE’S DENSE, WHICH GUYS APPARENTLY ARE, SO MAYBE JUST TELL HIM TO CALL.



AND
ADD HIM ON SOCIAL MEDIA. AT LEAST TWO ACCOUNTS SO YOU HAVE TWICE THE CHANCE OF FIGURING OUT IF HE’S LYING ABOUT BEING SINGLE.

OR
WAIT FOR HIM TO ADD YOU BECAUSE THEN YOU KNOW HE’S ACTUALLY INTERESTED IN KNOWING SOMETHING ABOUT YOU.

AND
EVEN THOUGH IT’S BEEN A YEAR SINCE YOU’VE HAD SEX AND YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE ANOTHER SEX TOY, DON’T SLEEP WITH HIM WITHOUT BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE HE'll LOSE INTEREST.

OR
SLEEP WITH HIM AND PRAY HE DOESN’T LOSE INTEREST BECAUSE HE GOT WHAT HE WANTED AND MAYBE HE’LL CONTINUE DATING YOU AND ASK YOU TO BE HIS GIRL BECAUSE YOU ROCKED HIS WORLD.

OR
SLEEP WITH AS MANY GUYS AS YOU WANT UNTIL HE COMMITS BECAUSE S**T, THERE ARE NO RULES AND HE’S PLAYING A GAME THAT DOESN’T EXIST.

OR
DONT SLEEP WITH ANYONE WHILE YOU’RE DATING THIS AMAZING GUY ‘CUS YOU’LL JINX YOURSELF.

AND
ASK HIM LOTS AND LOTS OF QUESTIONS SO HE KNOWS YOU’RE COMPLETELY IN.

OR
DON’T ASK HIM A TON OF QUESTIONS BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT HIM TO THINK YOU’RE A STALKER, AND YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO CARE BECAUSE -- YOU KNOW, YOU WANT HIM TO THINK YOU HAVE OPTIONS. AND BESIDES, IF HE DOESN’T ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS HE’S NOT THAT INTERESTED ANYWAY.

AND
FLIRT WITH HIM, AND LOOK DEEP INTO HIS EYES BECAUSE HE’S HOT AND WHY NOT!

OR
DON’T FLIRT TOO MUCH. HE’LL THINK YOU DO IT WITH EVERYONE.

OR
JUST RELAX BECAUSE YOU’LL HAVE A BOYFRIEND BY NEW YEAR'S…..THIS YEAR…..MAYBE.