(Free) Spirit

 photo freeblackwoman.jpg
I enjoy the shades of me
My confidence is full of pride
This ladder I've chosen to rise onto
That ceiling......well
It goes as far and as deep as I allow it to
And because I'm free in here
I'm free out here
with no fear of rejection or anti-acceptance
I am in love with me
No need to rush through this thing
because up here it's just me
And I'm taking my time for me
Too long I've lived in this box
Something always blocking me from me
Relationships. Family. A skewed view of me.
Afraid to touch my own body because I was ashamed you see
Ashamed of me
Too many tones.
Too many dark spots.
Too many no's
Why didn't you see me?
Why not?
I finally realized my acceptance comes not from you.
But me.
An ever-evolving creature
That's me
A woman comfortable with the uncomfortable
That's me
A proper envelope pusher
That's me
Not your definition of me
That's weak
The smile on my face is genuine
I touch it as I look in the mirror and fall in love all over again.
Not with the idea of me.
The notion of me.
The authentic, unapologetic me.

-Joi Unspeakable