Free: Letting Go of What Wasn't Mine

by Tikeetha Thomas

The silence consumed me 
I looked around the house and sat on the bed
I grabbed the pillow that you slept on just that morning
I cried 

I cried for all the nights we spent loving and sexing and laughing 
I cried because I realized that I couldn’t continue giving you pieces of my soul
In 20 minute increments while you belonged to another
I knew it and I still let you take a swim inside my soul

I let you dip your foot in the water and I became hooked
Hooked on the late night dates, reading and kicking it like we were in high school
Hooked on the sweet kisses, sensual rubs and your brilliant smile
Hooked translated into obsession and I became an addict

I lost myself in those moments alone
Forgot my pedigree
Forgot my girlfriends
Forgot my common sense

I became an addict pursuing another woman’s man
I am ashamed for my behavior
Embarrassed by my actions
Lost because I want her toy

But alas, I can’t have what doesn’t belong to me 
You said no
I can’t change it
I am finally free

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Tikeetha Thomas is a full-time working mom with a six year old son who is the apple of her eye.  She resides in Maryland and when she is not working and catering to her little boy, she is busy working on her unnamed novel.  You can follow her on twitter at or read more about her life at her blog: